Psychopaths Say These 5 Things at Work (What to Watch For)
From The Wizard of Words.
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Psychopaths at work say these 5 things. Most people have said #3 without even thinking, and they said it proudly. Here's how to spot a psychopath by what comes out of their mouth, how to check whether you're becoming one, and the exact words the cycle breaker says instead.
🎓 Want more? Join my course, Never Defend Yourself Again:
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Someone took credit for your work, blamed you for what they did, or talked about you behind your back. Two people can walk out of that same situation completely differently. One releases it, gets their power back and moves along. The other keeps spiraling in the same toxic mess for years. The difference is a handful of sentences.
⏱️ CHAPTERS
00:00 5 Things Psychopaths Say at Work
00:41 What Is a Psychopath? (No Empathy, No Remorse)
01:16 #1 "You Lied" → The Lantern
02:31 #2 "Admit It" → Here's What I Know
04:31 #3 "I Would Never Do That" → I, Too
07:11 #4 "Somebody Has to Pay" → What Power Addicts Want
08:58 #5 "Everybody Here Is Toxic"
10:24 Why You See What You Expect to See
11:06 The Fargo Bus Stop: Hail the Truth
14:08 Recap: The 5 Phrases
14:32 Join the Alliance
THE 5 THINGS PSYCHOPATHS SAY AT WORK, AND WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD
1. The psychopath says: "You lied."
The cycle breaker uses THE LANTERN:
• I understand the fear behind it.
• I've been there.
• I name the lapse, not the person.
• I bring it to light, and we move along.
"I understand you may have felt you weren't getting the recognition you needed. I've been there. That was an error in judgment."
2. The psychopath says: "Admit it."
The cycle breaker says: "Here's what I know, and here's what we're going to do. Do you understand?"
"I'm not going to ask you to admit anything. I'm asking that it doesn't happen again."
3. The psychopath says: "I would never do that."
The cycle breaker says: "I, too."
"I, too, have been afraid of becoming irrelevant. You don't have to take my work to matter here. You matter here."
4. The psychopath says: "Somebody has to pay for this."
The cycle breaker says: "I don't need anyone punished. I need the process fixed."
"We can fix this between us, or we can make it bigger. I'd rather fix it."
5. The psychopath says: "Everybody here is toxic."
The cycle breaker says: "This isn't the right place for me, and I'm allowed to know that."
"I'm not going to spend another year complaining about this place. I'm going to spend it getting ready to leave it well."
FIVE NAMES FOR WHAT HAPPENED (pick the one that fits)
A lapse in judgment · An error in discernment · A mistake in process · A betrayal of confidence · Misplaced trust
Every one of them calls out the choice. None of them calls a person a liar.
There's nothing you have to say that you can't say in a loving way, including the truth.
💬 Tell me in the comments: what happened to you at work that would be hard to call out? Give me one line. If you don't have the words for it by the end of the video, I'll give them to you. And if you think I'm wrong about #3, say so. I read these and I answer.
📚 MORE FROM THIS CHANNEL
Never Defend Yourself. Say This Instead: https://youtu.be/ZYPM9D3iLWc
Why Some People Are Magnetic: https://youtu.be/G2HqdQNqagM
❤️ SUPPORT THE CHANNEL
Hit JOIN to support my work and keep these videos free:
https://www.youtube.com/@TheWizardOfWords/join
Subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/@TheWizardOfWords
🎓 BECOME ONE OF MY STUDENTS
Never Defend Yourself Again:
https://www.danoconnortraining.com/never-defend-again
I'm Dan O'Connor, the Wizard of Words. I've spent more than 30 years teaching professional communication. I'm not a therapist and I'm not diagnosing anybody. We are an alliance of people who are done letting other people disappear just because they don't know these things.
#psychopath #toxicworkplace #toxiccoworker #communicationskills #workplacecommunication
🎓 Want more? Join my course, Never Defend Yourself Again:
https://www.danoconnortraining.com/never-defend-again
Someone took credit for your work, blamed you for what they did, or talked about you behind your back. Two people can walk out of that same situation completely differently. One releases it, gets their power back and moves along. The other keeps spiraling in the same toxic mess for years. The difference is a handful of sentences.
⏱️ CHAPTERS
00:00 5 Things Psychopaths Say at Work
00:41 What Is a Psychopath? (No Empathy, No Remorse)
01:16 #1 "You Lied" → The Lantern
02:31 #2 "Admit It" → Here's What I Know
04:31 #3 "I Would Never Do That" → I, Too
07:11 #4 "Somebody Has to Pay" → What Power Addicts Want
08:58 #5 "Everybody Here Is Toxic"
10:24 Why You See What You Expect to See
11:06 The Fargo Bus Stop: Hail the Truth
14:08 Recap: The 5 Phrases
14:32 Join the Alliance
THE 5 THINGS PSYCHOPATHS SAY AT WORK, AND WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD
1. The psychopath says: "You lied."
The cycle breaker uses THE LANTERN:
• I understand the fear behind it.
• I've been there.
• I name the lapse, not the person.
• I bring it to light, and we move along.
"I understand you may have felt you weren't getting the recognition you needed. I've been there. That was an error in judgment."
2. The psychopath says: "Admit it."
The cycle breaker says: "Here's what I know, and here's what we're going to do. Do you understand?"
"I'm not going to ask you to admit anything. I'm asking that it doesn't happen again."
3. The psychopath says: "I would never do that."
The cycle breaker says: "I, too."
"I, too, have been afraid of becoming irrelevant. You don't have to take my work to matter here. You matter here."
4. The psychopath says: "Somebody has to pay for this."
The cycle breaker says: "I don't need anyone punished. I need the process fixed."
"We can fix this between us, or we can make it bigger. I'd rather fix it."
5. The psychopath says: "Everybody here is toxic."
The cycle breaker says: "This isn't the right place for me, and I'm allowed to know that."
"I'm not going to spend another year complaining about this place. I'm going to spend it getting ready to leave it well."
FIVE NAMES FOR WHAT HAPPENED (pick the one that fits)
A lapse in judgment · An error in discernment · A mistake in process · A betrayal of confidence · Misplaced trust
Every one of them calls out the choice. None of them calls a person a liar.
There's nothing you have to say that you can't say in a loving way, including the truth.
💬 Tell me in the comments: what happened to you at work that would be hard to call out? Give me one line. If you don't have the words for it by the end of the video, I'll give them to you. And if you think I'm wrong about #3, say so. I read these and I answer.
📚 MORE FROM THIS CHANNEL
Never Defend Yourself. Say This Instead: https://youtu.be/ZYPM9D3iLWc
Why Some People Are Magnetic: https://youtu.be/G2HqdQNqagM
❤️ SUPPORT THE CHANNEL
Hit JOIN to support my work and keep these videos free:
https://www.youtube.com/@TheWizardOfWords/join
Subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/@TheWizardOfWords
🎓 BECOME ONE OF MY STUDENTS
Never Defend Yourself Again:
https://www.danoconnortraining.com/never-defend-again
I'm Dan O'Connor, the Wizard of Words. I've spent more than 30 years teaching professional communication. I'm not a therapist and I'm not diagnosing anybody. We are an alliance of people who are done letting other people disappear just because they don't know these things.
#psychopath #toxicworkplace #toxiccoworker #communicationskills #workplacecommunication
