Stop Saying “I’m Just Being Honest.” Say This Instead.
From The Wizard of Words.
Watch this video on YouTube ↗
Brutally honest? Too blunt? "I just speak my mind"? Here's why that keeps backfiring, and the 3 fill-in-the-blank patterns that let you say the hard thing honestly, directly AND kindly. Plus what to say if you live or work with someone who's too blunt.
Want to go deeper? Become one of my students in Never Defend Yourself Again:
https://www.danoconnortraining.com/never-defend-again
THE 3 PATTERNS
1. "That ___ doesn't showcase your ___ the way I hoped it would."
"That presentation didn't showcase your professional skill the way I hoped it would."
2. "That ___ doesn't reflect the ___ I know you to be."
"That comment doesn't reflect the loving spouse I know you to be."
3. "That ___ isn't in line with the ___ you normally are."
"That comment isn't in line with the supportive husband you normally are."
The rule underneath: criticize the thing, never the person.
THE COMMUNICATION STOPLIGHT
Does this need to be said?
Does it need to be said by me?
Does it need to be said by me, right now?
Any no is a red light.
IF YOU LIVE OR WORK WITH SOMEONE WHO'S TOO BLUNT
Don't say "You're so blunt." Try:
"That kind of directness doesn't showcase your thoughts the way you think it does."
CHAPTERS
00:00 Brutal Honesty Problem
01:06 Criticize Thing Not Person
01:43 Pattern One Showcase
02:00 Pattern Two Reflect
03:21 Nice Versus Kind
04:40 Discernment Spotlight
05:42 What Not To Say
07:34 Handling Blunt People
07:58 Selfish Kind Communicator
08:42 Join The Alliance
WATCH NEXT
Why Nice People Finish Last (It's Not Kindness): [add link]
Never Defend Yourself. Say This Instead: https://youtu.be/ZYPM9D3iLWc
JOIN THE ALLIANCE
This channel is an alliance of people lifting each other up and out. Subscribe, like and share so the free videos keep coming. Want to support the work directly? Hit JOIN:
https://www.youtube.com/@TheWizardOfWords/join
ABOUT DAN
I'm Dan O'Connor, The Wizard of Words: communication coach, speaker and author of The Rules for Women, with 30+ years of communication skills training, including professional communication skills for women. I teach you exactly what to say, so you can be honest without being brutal.
Course: https://www.danoconnortraining.com/never-defend-again
Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TheWizardOfWords
#communicationskills #brutallyhonest #howtosayit
Want to go deeper? Become one of my students in Never Defend Yourself Again:
https://www.danoconnortraining.com/never-defend-again
THE 3 PATTERNS
1. "That ___ doesn't showcase your ___ the way I hoped it would."
"That presentation didn't showcase your professional skill the way I hoped it would."
2. "That ___ doesn't reflect the ___ I know you to be."
"That comment doesn't reflect the loving spouse I know you to be."
3. "That ___ isn't in line with the ___ you normally are."
"That comment isn't in line with the supportive husband you normally are."
The rule underneath: criticize the thing, never the person.
THE COMMUNICATION STOPLIGHT
Does this need to be said?
Does it need to be said by me?
Does it need to be said by me, right now?
Any no is a red light.
IF YOU LIVE OR WORK WITH SOMEONE WHO'S TOO BLUNT
Don't say "You're so blunt." Try:
"That kind of directness doesn't showcase your thoughts the way you think it does."
CHAPTERS
00:00 Brutal Honesty Problem
01:06 Criticize Thing Not Person
01:43 Pattern One Showcase
02:00 Pattern Two Reflect
03:21 Nice Versus Kind
04:40 Discernment Spotlight
05:42 What Not To Say
07:34 Handling Blunt People
07:58 Selfish Kind Communicator
08:42 Join The Alliance
WATCH NEXT
Why Nice People Finish Last (It's Not Kindness): [add link]
Never Defend Yourself. Say This Instead: https://youtu.be/ZYPM9D3iLWc
JOIN THE ALLIANCE
This channel is an alliance of people lifting each other up and out. Subscribe, like and share so the free videos keep coming. Want to support the work directly? Hit JOIN:
https://www.youtube.com/@TheWizardOfWords/join
ABOUT DAN
I'm Dan O'Connor, The Wizard of Words: communication coach, speaker and author of The Rules for Women, with 30+ years of communication skills training, including professional communication skills for women. I teach you exactly what to say, so you can be honest without being brutal.
Course: https://www.danoconnortraining.com/never-defend-again
Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TheWizardOfWords
#communicationskills #brutallyhonest #howtosayit
