1 in 6 people are narcissists. Learn to spot them early | Ramani Durvasula: Full Interview
From Big Think.
Watch this video on YouTube ↗
The Big Think Interview is brought to you by Yale Online. Learn something worth sharing with The Psychology of Psychopaths: https://www.coursera.org/learn/yale-the-psychology-of-psychopaths?utm_source=YALE&utm_medium=institutions&utm_campaign=2026-psychopaths%E2%80%93video-teaser-big-think-paid
Become a Big Think member to unlock expert classes, premium print issues, exclusive events and more: https://bigthink.com/membership/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=membership&utm_content=bt-ytdesc-text-fi-durvasula-XfxQL1LP2BM
Subscribe to Big Think on YouTube ► https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvQECJukTDE2i6aCoMnS-Vg?sub_confirmation=1
Up next,
Finding and protecting selfhood in the age of social contagion | Luke Burgis: Full Interview ► https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WJ-GGD212s
Narcissistic people are often charming at the dinner party and cruel in the car ride home, which tells you they can control it. Clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, author of It’s Not You, has studied narcissism since long before it became a buzzword, and she argues that most of what circulates online gets it wrong.
00:00 Chapter 1: How to identify narcissism
5:59 Why narcissism is having its moment
26:27 The C-suite traits that help narcissists hide
31:41 The 5 types of narcissism
53:22 Why codependency is the wrong lens
1:03:19 Chapter 2: Signs you are in a narcissistic relationship
1:08:00 How love bombing works
1:16:43 What gaslighting really is
1:26:05 The self-blame trap
1:29:11 How these relationships affect your body
1:42:53 Chapter 3: How to grieve and recover after a narcissistic relationship
1:47:32 Radical acceptance & naming the grief
2:00:04 Healing without closure
2:05:40 The truth about no contact
2:08:22 Why healing happens in relationship
Read the video transcript ► https://bigthink.com/series/full-interview/spotting-narcissism-durvasula/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=video&utm_campaign=youtube_description
© Freethink Media Inc., All Rights Reserved.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Go Deeper with Big Think:
►Become a Big Think Web Member
Get the entire Big Think Class library, premium print issues, live events, and more.
https://bigthink.com/membership/
►Subscribe to Big Think on Substack
Get all of your favorite Big Think content delivered to your inbox.
https://bigthinkmedia.substack.com/subscribe/
►Listen to Big Think Interviews on Spotify
Insights from the world's biggest thinkers, now as a podcast
https://open.spotify.com/show/7KRYoRD1NdF2aoQcBMyPlb
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
About Ramani Durvasula:
Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist in California, professor emerita of psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, and founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training & Consulting. She is the author of the New York Times bestseller It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People, as well as “Don’t You Know Who I Am?”: How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility and Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist. She trains clinicians worldwide on working with people affected by narcissistic abuse and hosts a widely followed YouTube channel on the subject. She earned her M.A. and Ph.D. in clinical psychology from UCLA.
Become a Big Think member to unlock expert classes, premium print issues, exclusive events and more: https://bigthink.com/membership/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=membership&utm_content=bt-ytdesc-text-fi-durvasula-XfxQL1LP2BM
Subscribe to Big Think on YouTube ► https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvQECJukTDE2i6aCoMnS-Vg?sub_confirmation=1
Up next,
Finding and protecting selfhood in the age of social contagion | Luke Burgis: Full Interview ► https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WJ-GGD212s
Narcissistic people are often charming at the dinner party and cruel in the car ride home, which tells you they can control it. Clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, author of It’s Not You, has studied narcissism since long before it became a buzzword, and she argues that most of what circulates online gets it wrong.
00:00 Chapter 1: How to identify narcissism
5:59 Why narcissism is having its moment
26:27 The C-suite traits that help narcissists hide
31:41 The 5 types of narcissism
53:22 Why codependency is the wrong lens
1:03:19 Chapter 2: Signs you are in a narcissistic relationship
1:08:00 How love bombing works
1:16:43 What gaslighting really is
1:26:05 The self-blame trap
1:29:11 How these relationships affect your body
1:42:53 Chapter 3: How to grieve and recover after a narcissistic relationship
1:47:32 Radical acceptance & naming the grief
2:00:04 Healing without closure
2:05:40 The truth about no contact
2:08:22 Why healing happens in relationship
Read the video transcript ► https://bigthink.com/series/full-interview/spotting-narcissism-durvasula/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=video&utm_campaign=youtube_description
© Freethink Media Inc., All Rights Reserved.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Go Deeper with Big Think:
►Become a Big Think Web Member
Get the entire Big Think Class library, premium print issues, live events, and more.
https://bigthink.com/membership/
►Subscribe to Big Think on Substack
Get all of your favorite Big Think content delivered to your inbox.
https://bigthinkmedia.substack.com/subscribe/
►Listen to Big Think Interviews on Spotify
Insights from the world's biggest thinkers, now as a podcast
https://open.spotify.com/show/7KRYoRD1NdF2aoQcBMyPlb
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
About Ramani Durvasula:
Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist in California, professor emerita of psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, and founder and CEO of LUNA Education, Training & Consulting. She is the author of the New York Times bestseller It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People, as well as “Don’t You Know Who I Am?”: How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility and Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist. She trains clinicians worldwide on working with people affected by narcissistic abuse and hosts a widely followed YouTube channel on the subject. She earned her M.A. and Ph.D. in clinical psychology from UCLA.











