Why Nice People Finish Last It’s Not Kindness
From The Wizard of Words.
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Nice isn't kind. Nice is why people walk all over you, and the word itself literally means "not knowing." Here are 6 swaps from nice to kind, word for word, so you can stop people-pleasing, stop abandoning yourself, and finally get the respect you've been working so hard for.
Want to go deeper? Become one of my students in Never Defend Yourself Again:
https://www.danoconnortraining.com/never-defend-again
IN THIS VIDEO
- THE "I" TEST: the one question that tells you if you're being nice or kind
- Why people-pleasers get targeted, and the fastest way out
- 6 word-for-word swaps for work, home and everywhere in between
- What "nice" actually meant for hundreds of years (it was never a compliment)
THE SWAPS
Nice: "Hi, how are you?" (when you don't care)
Kind: "Good morning."
Nice: "Oh, no worries! Totally fine!"
Kind: "Thank you for letting me know."
When someone snaps, "That's not my job":
Kind: "Understood. Who owns it?"
Nice: "Here, let me just do that for you."
Kind: "What have you tried so far?"
Nice: "I loved it!"
Kind: "The opening was strong. The middle lost me. Here's where."
Nice: "I was just trying to be nice."
Kind: "I decided to cover her shift because her son was sick."
When they say, "You used to be so nice":
Kind: "I'm the same person. I'm just telling you the truth now."
CHAPTERS
00:00 Stop Saying "How Are You?"
00:15 Nice vs. Kind: 6 Swaps
00:49 The "I" Test
02:01 Why People-Pleasers Get Targeted
03:13 Swap 1: Paper Face
03:29 Swap 2: "No Worries"
04:22 Swap 3: Don't Rescue
04:34 "Nice" Literally Means Foolish
04:58 Swap 4: Tell the Truth (Kindly)
05:51 Swap 5: How to Walk Into a Meeting
06:24 Swap 6: The Honest Photo
07:25 Respect Follows Behavior
08:15 Join the Alliance
JOIN THE ALLIANCE
This channel is an alliance of people lifting each other up and out. Subscribe, like and share so the free videos keep coming. Want to support the work directly? Hit JOIN:
https://www.youtube.com/@TheWizardOfWords/join
WATCH NEXT
Never Defend Yourself. Say This Instead: https://youtu.be/ZYPM9D3iLWc
Why Some People Are Magnetic (It's Not Charisma): https://youtu.be/G2HqdQNqagM
ABOUT DAN
I'm Dan O'Connor, The Wizard of Words: communication coach, speaker and author of The Rules for Women, with 30+ years of communication skills training for professionals, including professional communication skills for women. I'm not a therapist. I teach you exactly what to say, so you can act like someone who respects themselves, and become them.
Course: https://www.danoconnortraining.com/never-defend-again
Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TheWizardOfWords
#communicationskills #peoplepleaser #selfrespect
Want to go deeper? Become one of my students in Never Defend Yourself Again:
https://www.danoconnortraining.com/never-defend-again
IN THIS VIDEO
- THE "I" TEST: the one question that tells you if you're being nice or kind
- Why people-pleasers get targeted, and the fastest way out
- 6 word-for-word swaps for work, home and everywhere in between
- What "nice" actually meant for hundreds of years (it was never a compliment)
THE SWAPS
Nice: "Hi, how are you?" (when you don't care)
Kind: "Good morning."
Nice: "Oh, no worries! Totally fine!"
Kind: "Thank you for letting me know."
When someone snaps, "That's not my job":
Kind: "Understood. Who owns it?"
Nice: "Here, let me just do that for you."
Kind: "What have you tried so far?"
Nice: "I loved it!"
Kind: "The opening was strong. The middle lost me. Here's where."
Nice: "I was just trying to be nice."
Kind: "I decided to cover her shift because her son was sick."
When they say, "You used to be so nice":
Kind: "I'm the same person. I'm just telling you the truth now."
CHAPTERS
00:00 Stop Saying "How Are You?"
00:15 Nice vs. Kind: 6 Swaps
00:49 The "I" Test
02:01 Why People-Pleasers Get Targeted
03:13 Swap 1: Paper Face
03:29 Swap 2: "No Worries"
04:22 Swap 3: Don't Rescue
04:34 "Nice" Literally Means Foolish
04:58 Swap 4: Tell the Truth (Kindly)
05:51 Swap 5: How to Walk Into a Meeting
06:24 Swap 6: The Honest Photo
07:25 Respect Follows Behavior
08:15 Join the Alliance
JOIN THE ALLIANCE
This channel is an alliance of people lifting each other up and out. Subscribe, like and share so the free videos keep coming. Want to support the work directly? Hit JOIN:
https://www.youtube.com/@TheWizardOfWords/join
WATCH NEXT
Never Defend Yourself. Say This Instead: https://youtu.be/ZYPM9D3iLWc
Why Some People Are Magnetic (It's Not Charisma): https://youtu.be/G2HqdQNqagM
ABOUT DAN
I'm Dan O'Connor, The Wizard of Words: communication coach, speaker and author of The Rules for Women, with 30+ years of communication skills training for professionals, including professional communication skills for women. I'm not a therapist. I teach you exactly what to say, so you can act like someone who respects themselves, and become them.
Course: https://www.danoconnortraining.com/never-defend-again
Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TheWizardOfWords
#communicationskills #peoplepleaser #selfrespect
